"They" Say To Write Down Your Goals In Order To Achieve Them

So I did, all in hopes of increasing my blogging frequency.  I even posted the aforementioned list.  The last few days have been full of blogging prompts and ideas, but the time has been missing.  Or when I finally do have a few moments, I’m trying to shower before collapsing into dreamland.
But, it’s Tuesday.  I’m thankful for the encouraging readers who have left comments on my blog.  I won’t lie—your kind words have given both my heart & my head a gentle boost.  While I don’t blog with the intent of impressing anyone, it is still encouraging to know that my words are making enough of an impact for you to tell me so.
I’m also thankful for all the new readers.  I hope that what you read on this blog leaves you with a positive impression.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you.
PS:  Dare I say that I hope to visit the blogs of all my kind comment people and at least say hello?  Well, it’s written down now, so that’s a new goal for the next couple of days.  

Five Minute Friday: Motherhood Should Come With…

Many things, really.  Not designed to make parenting a breeze, per se, but rather lessening the things that waste you so that you can devote yourself to your family better.
It should come with just enough money.  None to waste nor spend on big ticket designer items.  But rather enough to never worry about what to eat and when and which bill will be paid first.  And enough to at least start a rainy day fund.
It should come with an unlimited recipe resource.  So that great, tasty & healthy meal is always within reach.  When you need to be able to create supper out of pantry leftovers.  For when you need to quickly throw together a potluck dish, an appetizer or a snack for a friend who just dropped by unannounced.
It should come with enough time.  Not that days or weeks need to be any longer than 24-7.  But enough time for 8 hours of sleep.  Enough time to shower and comb hair.  Enough time to kiss and hugs husband and children and play for hours on end.  Enough time to clean and cook and make it out to appointments on time.  Enough time to just love freely without feeling like you need to cram all your love and lessons into a few moments.
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This was my second Five-Minute Friday post.  I’m glad to have made it through, as I’ve been plagued by a migraine all Thursday.  The rules are simple:
1–Just write for five minutes flat.  Throw all caution, grammar, editing & second-guessing to the wind and just write freely for five minutes.  Set a timer; it helps.
2–Go visit, read and encourage someone else.  I was inspired by Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama–thank you!  
Happy blogging!

The Reason Why No One Told You

Parenting.  It’s one of those overwhelming lifestyle changes that you don’t fully comprehend until you’re actually immersed in it.  Lots of people are parents, but every parenting experience varies by family.  No one told you everything because what works or doesn’t work for them, won’t necessarily be the same for you.
I’ll go out on a limb and say that everyone makes a choice on whether or not to have a baby.  Many did not choose to get when or, sometimes, if even to get pregnant.  But once that baby starts to grow, the choice is then ours to either terminate or carry out to birth.  But rarely do I hear anyone comment that they want to become parents, in the deeper sense of the word.
The pre-natal/pregnancy stage is where, I believe, parenting starts to take shape.  A mother’s mood and attitude during pregnancy impacts the child in utero.  This is when you plan for the childbirth event and how the baby’s room will look.  You celebrate pregnancy and pray hard that mother and baby stay healthy.  You spend countless hours researching car seats, strollers, cribs, diapers bags, bottle vs. breast, diapers and many other necessities.  Many books are read to in preparation of child care and child development.  How to hold, how to bathe, co-sleeping, swaddling, diet, what to expect at various stages of growth.  But yet, there’s still more.
Once your baby is born/given to you (many people do adopt, after all) reality starts to sink in.  All that drama leading up to the delivery room and the perfect paint colour on the nursery wall starts to pale in comparison to what lies ahead.  There is a new little person in your arms that you are completely responsible for.  They are fully dependant on their parents.  For everything.  They can’t even hold up their own heads.  That’s a small indication of what lies ahead. 
Parenting is probably one of the most ultimate gifts of sacrifice a person can make.  It really requires you to not only love unconditionally, but to also do a deep self inspection.  If you have any deep, buried emotional, mental and spiritual scabs that have not yet become scars, now is the time for healing.  It’s not fair to your new person for its parents to project old negativity into their life.  You sacrifice personal comforts, such as hot meals and uninterrupted tv watching, in order to put your child’s needs first.  You begin to think of how your actions & reactions to everything look to your child, who is watching you in everything.  The relationship you have with your spouse is your child’s first lesson in marriage.  The relationship with the other parent (if unmarried) teaches your child how to respect adults.  The way you treat your parents, the way you keep house, the way you drive, the way you shop, the way you go out, the way you make decisions, the way you pray—all of these are your child’s first lessons. 
The flip side of this noble sacrifice is that parents (often mothers) tend to feel a loss of identity.  The great debate of staying home versus working outside the home comes up.  How do you remain true to yourself, yet give of yourself completely for your family?  Despite the varying opinions society suggests and offers, the only ones qualified to make the best decision for your family are the parents. 
Parenting.  It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible.  

Hooray For Helpful Friends

Well, I did want to label this blogging day as a “thankful Tuesday”.  Here we go…

I’m thankful for my friend, P.  She’s always so willing to help me out whenever she can and she loves my girls.  In fact today, we had an appointment with a specialist and P offered to help me out.  She left work early, came and sat in a waiting room with my two youngest while Jono & I were in with Jamayia.  How cool is that!

I’m also thankful for Jamayia’s progress.  We saw the child development pediatrician, as a follow up to a consultation a couple of years before.  She said that Jamayia has come a long way, and she’s not too worried about her growth or progress anymore.  This whole situation is drama in itself and requires a separate post to address it.  In the meantime, I was just praising God during the testing today.  She did quite well!

Hmm, maybe I should keep giving myself a time restraint for writing these posts.  It does help to get some new material posted, at least.

What School Are You Going To?

That’s probably one of the more popular questioning once your preschooler reaches official schooling age.  And for months, we’ve been hemming and hawing when answering this question.  The assumption by most is that we’d send Jamayia to our local church owned & operated school.  Upon seeing that we’re not exactly jumping up at that idea, the next question is usually asking if there’s a public school in the neighbourhood.  And, the odd time, we’re asked if we’d ever consider homeschooling.
So, the official answer—we’re going to homeschool.  We feel that it’s a good step for Jamayia and her learning style and abilities.  And the follow up visit with the child development pediatrician helped to solidify this decision.
Our local church school belongs to a greatly respected, world-wide educational system.  The tuition rates tend to be lower than other private schools.  The teachers and staff generally have a fantastic reputation, showing not only care but love towards their students.  And the biggie—the freedom to talk about God and His love and incorporate Christian principles into the regular school day.  In our city though, funds tend to be limited and that reciprocates onto the resources.  If Jamayia (or any other student) ever has a specific, legitimate need (which she might), I’m not confident that she’d be able to get the support that she needs at school.  Their staff is very, very busy.  They don’t have the funding for a plethora of teacher’s aides and resource workers.  As it is, teaching one grade is taxing; and the classrooms there are multigrade, two per class. 
Public schools tend to have better funding and better access to resources for all kinds of needs.  There are many caring teachers and staff too.  There is a school within walking distance from our home, and it even offers a French immersion program—that’s a huge attraction for me!  But it’s overcrowded and they’ve already attached a couple portable extensions, with the plans to add more.  Plus, at this young, innocent age where pretty much all of life’s molding happens, we’d like to limit the spiritual conflicts until Jamayia’s better able to understand more and make a decisions for herself.  I know of Christian families with children attending public schools who have a regular struggle.  It’s as if they need to deprogram their children and reprogram them each day.
That left us with homeschooling.  It becomes an option for us especially since I’m a stay at home parent.  If both Jonathon & I were working, then we’d need to look into the private or public school options.  But at home, we’re able to teach her and shape the teaching around her needs.  She’s more hands on, we’ve discovered and so the typical, language based learning will only go so far for Jamayia.  I’ll be able to incorporate French too (I went to French immersion from K-12 myself and graduated with a French diploma in addition to my high school diploma). 
Now we’re collecting info on good curriculum and I’m also looking for organizational resources (ie: storage bins, etc).  I know a few homeschooling families in person, so I’ll be picking their brains. 
I guess now’s the time to invest in a printer and computer…                        

Hmmm, A Plan??

Nearly all great inspirational ideas come to me as I shower.  Other hit me as I’m trying to sleep at night.  And the rest come to me during daylight hours.  This latest idea—to assign basic categories to each weekday, that will help boost my blogging motivation and inspiration.  So far, here’s what I’ve got:
_______Sunday (Silly?  Slack?  This is usually a chill day for us)
Mothering Monday
Thankful Tuesday
_______Wednesday (Whacky was the first “w” word to pop into mind)
_______Thursday (Teaching Thursday, perhaps?)
Five Minute Friday (Got this idea from another blog)
_______Saturday (Simple Saturday?  Sunny?)

I was thinking of sharing some of the good tips I’ve accumulated in my short 5 years of parenting.  But in the logistics of where, when, and how, I get stumped and nothing gets posted.
With a plan, progress can be made.

Five Minute Friday: If I Knew I Could, I Would…

Write regularly.  I’d maintain a personal blog, but also have a couple side writing jobs.  Something that will help bring in a little extra money to the household.  Not looking to be millionaires, but getting the debt paid off is a priority here.  I don’t want writing to be relegated to just a job though.
I’d write for others.  I’d share my ups and downs of living for and with Jesus.  I’d share some of the better tips
I’ve learned and received and developed since becoming a parent.  I’d write just to express myself.
At the same time, let me also say that I have no desire to pen a novel, at this point.  Would I ever write a book?  Perhaps, as long as I had a clear path and direction ahead of me.  And support.  Can’t forget the importance of support.
As I get older and (hopefully) wiser, I’m learning that words are only effective when they’re said and/or written down.  If I want to make an impact, I’ll have to start by saying something impactful.  This is a great starter forum.  
But I think I’d actually want more. 
Wow.  I said it out loud.
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And that was my very first Five-Minute Friday post.  The main rule is this:
Write your heart out for five minutes straight, forgetting about perfection & editing.  (There are other things, like linking back to the person who referred you, etc.  Once I sort myself out, I’ll let you know where and how to link up.  In the meantime, I can say that I found this on The Gypsy Mama’s blog. )  

Working (Out) Hard

The last 7 weeks have been very trying for me. 
I started exercising again. 
My parents have given me many things.  The one thing they haven’t given me, however, was the “bounce-back gene”.  The gene that would allow my belly to bounce back to flatness, post-pregnancy.  And so, I must work hard to shrink & maintain the tummy area.  It’s also important to incorporate fitness into my regular routine so that I set a good example for my family and so that I’m physically healthier too.  Plus, I’m not ready to totally quit feeding my sweet tooth, so I must burn some calories in order to offset the occasional intake. 
So far, the workouts have been going well.  My goal was to exercise for five days a week.  I’m happy to report that I’ve only missed one day.  Yes, 1 day!!  I do Monday through Friday and then take the weekends off.  I’ve also been mixing up the routines a wee bit.
I started off with Jillian Michaels’ 30-day Shred.  Good workout and a great way to start back exercising post-partum.  I alternated that with 10 Minute Solutions Hip Hop Mix.  More cardio, good for body.  Then while blog surfing one day, I came upon a couple new (at least to me) Jillian videos; Ripped in 30 and 6 Week 6 Pack.  Maybe I’ll review them later, but until then, just look them up on Amazon.  The reviews sold me on them.  And so far, I’m enjoying the torture workouts.
The best part for me, though, has to be watching my older girls join in on the workouts.  I make a conscious effort to not talk too much (aloud, anyways) about shape, size & weight around my girls.  What I prefer for them to hear is the importance of physical fitness and eating well.  Making sure that meals are well-rounded and that treats are allowed in moderation.  Fitness has to be a lifestyle thing, not a passing phase.  I also want my girls to grow up with a positive body image.  They’re female, which seems to automatically put them into an appearance battle. 
Women tend to analyze each other when they first meet up.  What’s worse—they are analyzed by nearly everyone, male & female.  I will definitely explain all these things to them as they continue to grow older.  In the meantime, however, I want their childhoods to be enjoyable and carefree from that pressure in our home.  At 2 and 4 years old, they should be looking to learn ABCs and “reading, ‘riting & ‘rithmetic”.  They are learning manners, proper hygiene and how to show love to everyone.  This is a Christian home, so they’re also learning about God and how much He loves them, and how to reflect that love to others.  After all that, there’s no time to bog them down with what size they are and how many curves they have and what outfit best accentuates those curves.  Oftentimes, self-esteem is based on how we feel about ourselves—and the physical appearance is a huge factor here. 
Overall, I want all my girls to be healthy.  Look healthy, feel healthy and have a healthy self-esteem.

Rishayla’s Minor Hospital Drama

Rishayla also made a visit to the NICU, but a very brief one.  Her stay lasted approximately five hours.  Much better than the 2 weeks her older sister had lived there for.  Why?
She was a bit sleepy from the Fentanyl I’d been given.  This was to be expected; not a huge deal.  However, she was also sounding very, very mucousy and congested-like.  Even though she got the routine, post-birth aspirator suction, her little body was still full of mucous.  So, off to the NICU she went, only for observation. 
My thoughts on being back in the NICU?  Because Rishayla was only there for observation, that was fine.  Despite Jhyelle’s unfortunate health issues at birth, the overall NICU experience was still good.  Very attentive staff and they cared for the babies.  Parents have 24 hour access to the NICU, either in person or by telephone—and they encourage this.  The observation room was separate from the other babies.  She was suctioned a number of times.  They would stick a tube in her nose and suction with a machine.  Then someone got smart, and realized that they could still get a decently powerful suction from holding the machine just under her nose, as opposed to inside her nose, which was now causing some minor bleeding.  She also received an IV port during her stay, for a couple preventative medication doses.
The dry hospital air did nothing to help with her mucous state.  Whenever Rishayla gets really fussy, her breathing sounds a bit congested.  Thankfully, her lungs are all clear though, so no major worries.  They say that she should clear out on her own over time.  I can use the aspirator at home, as well as some saline drops to help soften things up. 
The medication drama.  When babies are born, they’re really small and, for the most part, sleepy and easy going.  It’s the adults in the outer world that add to the drama.  She was given prescribed two medications because I’d tested positive for Group B Strep.  One of the medications (I found out later) carries a risk of deafness if it stays in the body too long.  This same medication is also a diuretic.  But would Rishayla pee??  Barely.  And the nurses were on her case about that.  When you consider that she’s barely eating for the first little bit post-birth (their tummies are super tiny!), it’s no wonder that poop & pee are hard to come by for some babies.  She’d have some dirty diapers, but very little wet mixed in, or none at all during some checks.  And so the staff was starting to get worried.  There was talk of supplementing her with formula to help increase her urination.  I was so not good with that idea.  Then there was talk of giving her an iv fluid drip.  Turns out, they don’t do that on the ward (no one has the training) only the in the NICU.  However, the NICU was all full and so that next thing would be to airlift her to another hospital out of province.  ALL THIS FOR SOME PEE??  Finally it was decided to give her a bit of sugar water, after I nursed her.  This way we weren’t messing with the growing nursing relationship.  For the record, the sugar water didn’t help much either.  When Rishayla’s doctor stopped in the following day, she chewed out the staff for their unreasonable measures.  The Doctor thought it was unreasonable to expect a newborn to have 2 medium sized pees within 8 hours.  So, after some words, she cancelled the next dose of that medication.  She wasn’t too worried about Rishayla as it was.  Of course when we got home, she had no issues peeing whatsoever.  Change of environment does a baby good.
IV port drama.  Rishayla had a port for her medications, so that they wouldn’t have to stick her with separate needles for each dose.  Apparently finding a good vein was an issue.  When I got her back, they’d tried twice on one arm, once on the other and once on a foot.  The finally inserted it into her other foot.  Then at one point on Saturday, the line became interstitial (thanks for the new word, Dai!), meaning it because useless.  She ended up getting a dose of a medication in both thighs simultaneously before they sent her back to the NICU for them to insert a new port. 
I’m glad that I was feeling well enough to handle all this drama.  Physically, this was the best I’d ever felt post-partum, of the three girls.  I was glad that none of this hindered us from going home on time.  I’m also very glad for a magnificent pediatrician who stands up for the patient.  That makes all the difference in the world.