Sabrina J-R – Page 9

The New {Little} Guy

**wipes off dust**

May I introduce you to the newest little gentleman in my life?

…Zakhari Vance Rowe…
…Tuesday, December 31, 2013…
…2:54 a.m. …
…7 pounds, 13 ounces…
…21 inches long…
…Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous…

After three girls, there is finally another male in the house. We’re adjusting well, and remembering to refer to the baby as ‘him’ and ‘brother’ (…most of the time). His big sisters adore him to pieces and are constantly looking to cuddle and kiss him.

Zakhari’s arrival, among a few other things, put the blog on a mini-vacation for a while. Life is slowly getting back to normal on all fronts. I hope to share his birth story soon.

Five Minute Friday: Reflect

I pass by a mirror countless times each day. Usually it’s in the bathroom, as I pause to wash my hands, yet again, tending to the needs of family and home. But I never pause to stare at myself. In fact, I usually don’t ever glance into the mirror while washing my hands. No need to get distracted as I flit from task to task.

Then comes the moment when I am dressed up and looking good. A great time to grab a selfie shot. Since I’m like too many women and never turn the camera lens on myself, my newest goal is to be intentional on capturing shots when I do feel pretty.

This is the moment I head to the bathroom mirror, grateful for its large size and good lighting. I position myself for a shot (why are selfies so challenging?!). Except I can’t. I now notice the dry water splotches and toothpaste-encrusted dots on the mirror. As I look past myself to the bigger picture reflected, I find little details that would mar the shot.

It’s easy to forget that I reflect One who is much bigger than I. The day to day distractions occupy my mind just enough most times, that I don’t pause as I should to ensure that I am clean. A mirror is meant to be transparent. My life needs to also be transparent. So that the image that is reflected outward is accurate and unblemished.

Determined to capture a photo, I wipe down the mirror and clear the bathroom counter. At the same time, I whisper a prayer asking God to wipe me of the messy splotches and clear my heart and mind of clutter. I pose and smile.

I can feel Him smiling too.

Here is one shot. I left the cleaning cloth in the corner and was photobombed by a little cutie. Part of transparency is keeping it real, right?

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I’m linking up today with the Five Minute Friday community over at Lisa-Jo’s.

Five Minute Friday: Fly

Oh some days how I wish to be a fly. On a wall. A wall in people’s minds.

I’m serious.

I know people who make all kinds of decisions that I just can’t comprehend. Not that people need to live based on my understanding of their lives. Whatever goes on in the privacy of your home is your business. Yet, too often, I find that these decisions trickle out to a more public arena. And too many times, I’m left going “huhhh?! I don’t get it…”

For example, when I see some parents being obviously inconsistent with their discipline. By obvious, I mean even my 5 year old starts asking me why the adults made that choice. I don’t question others out loud, nor do I try to explain it to my kids, other than to say that they’re trying to do their best for their family. I always pray for the families in these moments. But I also walk away asking God what’s going on? Having insight into their thinking would help me understand them better. More importantly, it would help me love them better in the way that they need.

Another example: Those who consistently exhibit Christ-like behaviour. How do you do it??? I want to be inside your brain to see how to stifle the mean thoughts and snarky retorts. How to make forgiveness swift and anger slow. How to assert yourself when wronged with eloquence and grace. How to love those who make loving others the world’s biggest challenge.

Yes, that’s how I’d use my abilities if I were a fly. I’d want to understand you more. To see what God already knows about you.

To love you as He does.

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It’s Friday, the day of the week I link up with Lisa-Jo and the five minute Friday community. I had some fun with today’s post. That’s one of the perks to these free-write sessions.

Five Minute Friday: Tree

I heard a story once of a tree planted by a mother and child. They had the perfect spot selected in the front yard for a specially picked tree. They worked together, digging the hole and planting the tree. Yet, with each attempt, the tree was crooked. They toiled and worked for hours, and finally settled for what they thought was perfect. Both mom and child were exhausted by this point. The tree was still a hair crooked, but nothing noticeable.

Over time, the tree grew. The crookedness of the tree became more pronounced and defined. What was once barely noticeable at a quick glance was now obvious to everyone. Year after year, the tree leaned more and more to one side. The time finally came when the position of the tree became a threat to safety and was chopped down and removed.

Recently, I received a tear-filled call from someone who is terribly concerned at what was and is being planted in a child’s life. Practically begging for prayer, the caller shared details of their concern. At the same time, I started thinking about my own parenting and asking myself the hard questions. Am I focusing on what I perceive to be the ‘right things’ (aka: usually the wrong or unimportant things) setting my children up for crooked growth? Do I let too much of the wrong things slide by, hoping in the exhaustion of raising children, that things will straighten themselves out?

Parenting is hard work!! You don’t realize how intricately challenging it is until you’re immersed in it. Sure, you can make certain plans ahead of time and have ideals in mind for your family. But in all those imagined scenarios, there’s never any disobedience or curious rebellion. There’s always compliance and immediate obedience, no questions asked. Things change when there’s a mini version of yourself looking back at you, trying to understand why you’re instructing them in that way.

Keep working hard at the planting process. This is not a quick process. There will be exhaustion and fatigue, dirt and fertilizer. (Yes, even moments that seem filled with manure). Sore muscles and achy knees. Those closest to you may question your choices and even mock you.

Over time, your efforts will be noticeable.

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On Fridays, I link up with Lisa-Jo and her five-minute Friday community. The rules are simple. Take the prompt and let the words flow freely. Don’t worry about grammar, phrasing or any other of those writing details. Just write.

Goodness {day 24}

I’m doing something special today–guest posting over at my friend Zohary’s place. She is currently running a series through October entitled “31 Days of Living God’s Promises“. She invited me to participate. Since God has a huge book full of promises, I managed to narrow it down to just one and share. But before I link to my post, I need to share today’s funny with you.

I worked hard on my guest post for Zohary’s series and emailed it to her last week. When I went to read it live this morning, I discovered something horrifying–what was posted wasn’t my intended post!! The first post still made sense, in a way, for the topic of Goodness. I thought perhaps Zohary just did a very elaborate editing job. After all, it is her blog, so she gets the final decision on production, right?

As I reread the list a few times over and over, I realized the issue. I had included the WRONG attachment in the email. What I had actually sent her was a list of potential blog names when I had kept when I was redesigning my blog months ago.

At first I was horrified, but then I was able to laugh about the entire thing. Needless to say, I’ll be carefully naming all my files with some obviously different names. Why name one file ‘Psalm 34″ and another ‘Ps 34’??

My friend was gracious enough to change the poem-like post. Thank you, Zohary!!!

To read more about Goodness, please join me here…

Five Minute Friday: Laundry {day 17}

Welcome! I’m midway through my 31 Days series and am combining with five-minute Friday. We’re tackling the hard truth about laundry.

It piles up quickly. The dirty clothes, socks, undergarments, linens. Some materials make items a one-time wear only. Other materials can be worn a few times lightly before laundering. It doesn’t take much to make it to the hamper. A stain here, a drop there. A splotch here or an unsuccessful dab there. The tip of an ink pen, the slosh of half your coffee mug. Into the pile it goes. Some items are highly stinky, particularly for those partial to perspiring. Yet a lightly soiled item mixed into the dirty pile becomes just as unclean.

Sorta like me. My dirty laundry piles up much too quickly. There are times I try to catch up, but can’t stay on top of this chore. My heart, my mind, my tongue—they all get dirty when left unattended and unguarded. The biggest stain of all? Self. When I put myself first and disregard all else, the laundry tends to pile high. Suddenly it’s easy to launch an unkind verbal retort. Should I manage to control my tongue, then my mind runs away with all the millions of other ways I could be putting someone in their ‘rightful’ place. My heart? Becomes tainted as I temporarily forget that you, like me, are God’s child too and I wrestle between tender compassion and angry passion.

But God!

He is the ultimate laundry master! Our God knows all about stains, splotches, drops and tears. He specializes in cleaning us up. Our righteousness is like grease-stained rags (Isa 64:6, MSG). They’re not easily launderable. It takes an expert to clean us up. After we shred every piece of clothing, and are left bare and vulnerable before Him, He covers us with His robe of righteousness. Not a cover up, but a new garment. We’re bedecked and bedazzled in a tasteful, regal and non-gaudy way.

A jeweled tiara (Isa 61:10, MSG) is a perfect reminder of my laundry master King.

Five Minute Friday: Ordinary {day 11}

Welcome! Today, I’m combining my 31 Days post with five-minute Friday.

Ordinary is on a constant renovation process in my life. One of the defining terms for ordinary is ‘unexceptional’. I can see how that’s been true in my life.

Growing up, I often wished to be ordinary. I stuck out in my elementary classes because I looked different. Noticeably so. If I were ordinary like my classmates, had their light-coloured, thin, easy-to-manage hair and pale-looking skin, then maybe I’d fit in better and not be such an easy target.

As I grew older, ordinary people seemed to have a pretty simple life—at first. They would go to college, many of them without even needing student loans, complete a degree and get a great job. They’d buy a home, car and just roll out of bed every day in time for a Starbucks run as they headed to the office. At a deeper glance, though, many of them were unsettled. Something was missing and/or lacking in their lives.

There were many instances when I wished, and even prayed, to be ordinary. I was tired of being the exception.

Then I got to know Jesus. For myself. This changed everything!

I grew up in a Christian home, so the idea of Christ and a Saviour was not a foreign concept. (This also a major factor of my not being ordinary). But it’s not enough to hear or know about Christ. You must get to know Him for yourself. Develop your own relationship with Him, because He really does want something special and intimate with all of us. Suddenly ordinary had new meaning.

I appreciated looking different. It taught me to seek out others and to be sensitive to a variety of people. My new ordinary meant having an awareness of people’s beautiful differences and that they need to be enhanced and encouraged.

My new ordinary meant waking up early to spend time in the Word, connecting with God. This filled me with peace and purpose for my day ahead. When challenges came up, I knew I had back-up. I was never alone. I was no longer envious of the empty lives that most of my co-workers had.

Christ is the exception to ordinary. While living on earth, even He didn’t hang too closely with the ‘ordinary’ folks of the day. He went ‘lower’ than that—mere fishermen, tax collectors, women with questionable reputations, sick people, children, etc. He started living the unusual and made it become ordinary. His ordinary involved showing love and grace to everyone, His enemies in particular.

I’m working to make new exceptions daily. I’m trying to take the truths God is redefining and live them so that it becomes ordinary in my life. Showing love shouldn’t always be a rare and exceptional thing.

Looking Stupid {day 10}

There are risks to Christian living that are rarely talked about. We should be discussing these things openly so that when they happen, it doesn’t catch us off guard. One such risk is looking stupid.

Shortly after I got married, a co-worker turned on me. While never close, we had always gotten along well enough. I couldn’t understand why the sudden hostility. Nothing obvious had occurred—I hadn’t purposely offended her in any way. A breach in this type of relationship meant that every single detail of my work day was under her critical scrutiny. I could barely walk into the office without feeling visually x-rayed for something to bug me about that day.

Then one day, things erupted. She stood over my desk, telling me what she thought of me and my work standards. But God! He gave me something to say. Still seated, I looked her straight in the eyes and asked her calmly: How can we work together to overcome this? I was looking to repair things, even though I didn’t understand how it was broken. I wasn’t up for fighting nor for constantly attacking her just because she did it to me first.

I’ll never forget her response. Her jaw dropped at my question, she rolled her eyes, turned away and sat down. Clearly she was prepared for a verbal boxing match, but I was not to be her opponent that day.

I knew in that moment that I looked stupid. Who walks away from defending themselves? Why not say something, anything? Because all battles are not necessarily personal. I found out later that this co-worker’s marriage was in the midst of a break-up. Things were crumbling in her personal life and I, as a happy newlywed, became an easy target.

There will be too many times where we will be called to walk away from certain battles. We may not understand how or why, in that very moment. Regardless, it’s still our duty to obey God’s leading. He doesn’t have to explain Himself to us at any time, though He sometimes does give us a glimpse of the truth.

Yet, at the risk of looking stupid, I was able to show God’s love, grace and forgiveness. I was willing to take that first step forward, to show surrender and a desire to move on. My behaviour needed to reflect my Saviour, especially during a challenge. In turn, He filled me with His peace–the one that exceeds beyond what I can understand.

Looking stupid is temporary. The results, however, affect our eternal future.

Forcing Capability {day 9}

A friend admitted to participating in a situation to ensure that they were capable of normalcy. While the bigger picture held no appeal, there was one piece of the puzzle that was fascinating. Having experienced trauma in the past, they wanted to ensure that they were indeed alright. They were.

That desire to be ‘capable’ stuck with me. I couldn’t label my feeling of unease. The need and desire for healing and a return to regular life was understandable. Any deeply unsettling experience shakes one to the core and causes us to question much of life. Opting not to voice my questions, I spent time thinking and praying. Then it clicked.

Since God has created us with with all sorts of aspects, would He not ensure that we will be okay, even after trauma? How many times do I look to qualify myself, in my own time? With my own limited abilities? And basically–in my own power? If God has asked me to do something, would He not equip me to do it, even if things aren’t ideal?

Christian living isn’t easy. It means trusting in God to carry us, especially when we feel impressed to prove our worth. Yet, nowhere does He ask us to prove ourselves. We do not have to provide evidence of our capabilities to what He has called us for. In fact, quite the opposite happens.

God proves Himself over and over again to us. The evidence pile He has amassed in our history is incredible. What He does ask for is our trust while He tends to our lives.

He is able!

Happy Birthday, Jhyelle {day 8}

My miracle girl is 5 years old today. I call her life a miracle for a couple reasons:

Only God has the power to create life. It’s beyond my scope.
She was extremely ill at birth–and lived. The medical staff whisked her away to the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) immediately after she was born, in effort to stabilize her breathing. They hoped to report back in an hour. Jhyelle ended up staying there for two weeks instead. In fact, she nearly died that first night…but God!

Each time her birthday rolls around, I’m overwhelmed and humbled by gratefulness. I remember getting ready to see her for the first time ever, and my nurse was fighting back tears. Her question will always stay with me:

“Are you people of faith?”

I let her know that yes, we were. And she was instantly relieved, because she knew the road ahead was filled with unknowns. Though I had no idea what condition I would find my baby in, I was filled with peace. God assured me right at the moment that Jhyelle would not die. I begun mentally preparing myself for possible developmental and physical delays. I predicted a full calendars of specialist visits for a long time to come.

Those appointments were never booked. Other than routine follow up procedures for NICU patients, Jhyelle has been blessed with healthy growth and development in all areas of her life.