Sabrina J-R – Page 10

Appearing vs Being {day 7}

There are times when living as a Christian will have you appearing weak. But it doesn’t mean you are weak.

The current trend I’m noticing throughout general society is that most people are out for themselves. I’m only responsible for myself and have to look out for myself because no one else will. Me first and you get the leftovers…if I feel like sharing. In the business world, it’s the C.O.A. (cover your own butt, to phrase is nicely) mentality. As in do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, which can include hurting others and deceitful practices. No longer are we extending ourselves too far, let alone over-extending. “That’s not in my job description” seems to be the common trend.

This is not the Christian train of thought. We copy Christ–which means putting Him first, then others and yourself last. Not in a harmful way, mind you. But like Christ, we’re to always be considerate of others. We try to respond and react with caution, not wanting to verbally assault someone just because they did it first. While we’re not responsible for everyone, we prefer to show kindness and civility towards others. We share first, and give to ourselves last. When it’s possible to go above and beyond, we just do it, often in the background, not expecting nor requiring accolades. One who lives a Christian lifestyle tries to avoid conflict, or at least avoid continuing conflict. It’s best to leave peaceably with others. Even through a scathing verbal attack, a Christian will choose not to respond when they cannot reply with love.

It’s these qualities that can make one look weak. Who walks away when being taunted? Who wouldn’t appreciate watching vengeance dished out against a foe? Why care about other people?

Because Jesus did. And He was the strongest man to ever life on this earth. He opted not to fight back when the Pharisees questioned His every move and action. During his unfair trial in the middle of the night, Jesus chose to stay silent, to leave their pointed questions unanswered. And it wasn’t because He was guilty–He wasn’t. In fact, had He wanted, Christ could have not only shut down every false accusation against Him, but turned the tables on every single accuser. He could have told them all about themselves and their mommas, describing with detail what was in their hearts and minds. But Jesus doesn’t play dirty.

With Christ as our ultimate example, we have a great role to maintain. Yes, that means bowing out and appearing to be weaklings. Yet, when you make that conscious choice to live for Christ, it truly means that you are taking the high road. Christian living can appear to look like a lifestyle of the weak and useless.

It takes strength to make the better decisions. Better doesn’t always mean easier. God’s strength is more visible in the shadow of our perceived weakness.

How Great Is Our God {day 5}

Music is one of those things that is vital to life, kind of like oxygen and water. Try watching a movie or television show without background music. Would a horror scene be the same without the screeching strings building anticipating? Have you ever attended a silent wedding? Scripture is laced with music all throughout. There are songs for all occasions. The list of instruments is not brief at all. Music is a gift.

The thing about blogging is that it often only exposes one dimension. You see, not only do I blog, but I also play the piano and the violin. I grew up taking lessons in both of those instruments for a good chunk of my life. I’m quite active in the music ministry at church. I figured it was fitting that on the weekend, I share some of my favourite songs. The ones that speak truth about God and Who He Is and how He cares for us.

My first selection is “How Great Is Our God”.

Five Minute Friday: Write {day 4}

I’m combining my 31 days post with my five-minute Friday routine today. It was one of those special occasions where I went over the five minutes. It was too good to just cut short.

Continuing on from yesterday’s post about peace-filled shoes…

What’s the best thing to do with news? Spread it, right? Death and pregnancy. Diagnosis and healing. Heroic saga and nightmare come true. Poor customer service and awesome bargains. We freely share all of these things on all platforms and soapboxes possible.

What God has done for me? **Eyes shift while crickets chirp**

Sharing our story is hard! It means being vulnerable, ~~presuming~~ risking that the feedback or backlash from our telling will be negative. We lack confidence to tell what God is confidently doing in our lives. But may I encourage you through Paul’s example? Because it encouraged me.

Paul refers to himself as the “chief among sinners”. Like the worst of the worse. This dude, in his old life as Saul, was extremely cruel. He sought out Jesus-followers for the pleasure of persecution and harassment. He took great satisfaction in helping to rid the world of ‘Christians’. Yet, he did all this without investigating Jesus for himself. But God didn’t give up on him!

Saul finally had a personal experience with Christ. An earth-shattering, life-altering encounter on the road to Damascus. He met Jesus, and his entire life was changed for the better. He even changed his name to Paul and began a devoted life of service to God. When he understood, accepted and believed in the complete and total forgiveness that comes from God, Paul was free to share his story. Without shame!

Paul spoke to rulers, politicians, common folk, jailers, prisoners and everyone in between. No audience was too inferior or superior for him to share his message. Sometimes, he even spoke while in chains himself, having been jailed in attempts to stop the Christian movement. He never hid his face, nor made apologies for his testimony. From jail—from jail!—he would write letters encouraging people all over to stay strong in the Lord, to keep trusting Him. Paul didn’t wait until his life was perfect, until he had ‘arrived’ in order to share his story.

The same strength God gave Paul is available to me today. His power and sovereignty has not diminished over time. Regardless of what’s chaining us down, God is still at work. Speaking and writing while in chains will remind us of God’s constant presence and encourage others too.

Our stories don’t have to be glamorous, hysterical or epic tear-jerkers. They just need to be told.

Peace-Filled Shoes {day 3}

**Here is something I’ve learned that was so profound that I’m breaking it into two parts.**

At my church’s weekly prayer meeting, we’ve been focusing on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18). This week’s piece was the shoes, which represent the gospel of peace. Though I’ve heard and read this passage numerous times, this is the first time I’ve studied each individual piece of the armor. The shoes were really eye-opening.

Shoes are the foundation to any outfit, including armor. They must be sturdy and thick enough to withstand the dangers that lie in the ground. The enemy would sometimes hide sharp blades in the grass, in attempts to injure the soldiers, disabling them from battle. A soldier’s footwear also needed to be comfortable for long periods of wearing and marching. Your feet require proper support to endure for the long haul.

The gospel does exactly this. God’s Word gives us a solid foundation of peace. Our lives are often unstable and uncertain. We make plans, but we cannot control everything around us—things can change in the blink of an eye. This peace helps us to maintain sure footing in an unsure life. The soles must be thick enough so that the lies and negativity that try to dig into our souls will not touch us. There’s also the turmoil of trials and hardships which can drag on for weeks, months or even years. We need the correct support to endure.

With a solid foundation as our base, it boosts our confidence. We’re able to live right and to testify. Without shame. Shame is hard to release, isn’t it? Once we believe that God’s forgiveness is truly enough, it shifts our focus. Part of the peace that comes from the gospel is when we give God all our guilt and shame, He takes it all and gets rid of it. He doesn’t store any bit of it to taunt us later. It’s gone! This freedom enables us to reach out to others, freely and boldly, in love.

Reach out? We’ll talk more about this tomorrow…

Need Friends? Try Being True {day 2}

We need truth!

Social media has actually helped, by giving us a somewhat ‘safe’ forum to be honest. How many have read the post about the pain of loss, chronic illness, or _______ (insert your struggle here)? What about the viral rant describing poor customer service? And the vast swell of emotions surrounding high profile court trials? Those are real feelings. It’s a great start.

But it’s just a start. We need to be free to share honestly, in real life. Among human community, where we’re not hiding behind a ‘delete’ button or an option to ‘block’ someone from your social media page, email or website. It’s easy to hide behind the fortress of online personality, similar to the Wizard of Oz. We need that courage to talk to each other. Perhaps it’s lack of true friendships and relationships that keep us silent.

Truth encourages others. When we are real and honest, then it shows a couple of key points:

You are a real person. You, too, have rough times, hardships and *gasp* flaws! Maybe you can understand a friend’s emotions and struggles after they have heard yours.
Others feel comfortable to share honestly. Too many of us walk around with all kinds of self-labelled ugly, bottled up inside. The pressure is building to uncomfortable levels and the top is about to blow. We’re looking for the right outlet, but no one seems real enough to handle the depths of our ish.

Truth helps to build trust. When we carry on with the façade that our life is picturesque and idyllic, that problems seem to be non-existent in our lives, we don’t look like someone who can be trusted to handle another person’s pain appropriately. A hurting soul or struggling saint doesn’t want to hear the commonly often-recited platitudes. A comforting hug, two listening ears and even praying together are a soothing balm.

Everybody doesn’t qualify to be a friend. **shrugs** It’s true. There are some who are too independent to ‘need’ another person to rely on. Some are buried so deeply in their own pain that they have forgotten what truth looks like. Some have absolutely no interest in human community for whatever reason. Love these folk. Be kind to them. Pray for them always.

This is one of the hard lessons I’m continuing to learn. Disappointment arises when I try too hard with the wrong people and not hard enough with the right ones. God always shows us what’s best.

31 Things I’ve Learned to be True

I’m taking a leap this month and challenging myself to blogging daily. I’ll be participating in the 31 Day challenge. My topic is:

I’ve been enjoying the liberties and refreshment that come being true and blogging truthfully. While it’s never easy, it is the better way to live and to write. The nuggets I’ll be sharing daily may not be overly profound or earth-shattering…for you. For myself, God has been working to dispel myths and convict me of truths in my life that have impacted me.

Thanks for joining me on my journey. I look forward to what October has in store.

Five Minute Friday: True

I’m linking up with the Five Minute Friday community today. The prompt: true. Take 5 minutes, more or less, and let the flow (and truth) flow freely.

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Writing from a true perspective is conflicting. It’s easy and hard. Simultaneously. Gut-wrenching, almost, yet liberating at the exact same time! How is that possible?!

To be true means that nothing has to be masked behind colourful exaggeration or creative use of decorative adjectives. It is being yourself and ignoring the negative critiques. Honest people will accept the constructive criticism—things that will help with improvement & growth. But fear of rejection and of potential backlash causes truth to be buried deep.

Writing truly is risqué. This is a call to be transparent and open about yourself and your (oftentimes) raw, unprocessed emotions and feelings. Don’t get me wrong—it’s not about completely baring every little detail or over-telling a story. It just means that if you felt anger or _______ (pick your feeling) about something, you’re not afraid to say so. Even if you can’t explain it in the moment.

Truth is liberating. There is freedom in being able to just be yourself. Stress exists when you focus on the struggle to make the best impression. You start second third and fourth guessing yourself. Suddenly everything comes into question. Do I look okay? Will they notice this or that? When you’re able to just be true and not get caught up in the extra, it’s much more relaxing. Yes—please do give your best effort at all times. Yet be yourself.

While the stories I tell and the experiences I share on this blog are authentic, I usually put some effort into making them a bit more attractive. My last few posts, however, have been written from a deeper level of true. Like the ‘scared-to-hit-publish-because-it-might-be-too-much-and-will-my-readers-get-it’ kinda true. Yet those are the posts that make the deepest impact with me.

Because they’re real.

Caught Off-Guard: part 2

So now I was okay internally, with a new baby. Externally, however, I was still scared…

Scared because while I had peace about this pregnancy, I knew that not everyone else would understand my peace and what God was doing in my life. I don’t even understand all that God is doing in my life–Ha! There is no simple explanation; no clear cut answer to the flood of comments and invasive questions I was about to receive. People talk—all the time and often too freely. My biggest concern was my response to the questions and comments. Even though I did not ask for them, preparation was required. As one who claims to be reppin’ Jesus, I needed to be appropriate regardless of their impropriety.

Well, when I was pregnant with baby #3, the comments were a steady flow. Everything from “going for the boy now?” to “are you stopping after this?” and then some. You know—things that are not their business. While I tried to shrug it off, I did find that most of these questions were tiptoeing heavily on the line of rude. And if that’s how they felt about three, I knew not much would change with #4.

This fear held me back for the longest time. I avoided announcing this pregnancy publicly, choosing to let the *bump* speak for itself. And while the questions did come, I did the ‘smile-and-nod’ bit for the most part. Because I was filled with God’s peace, I was okay with not having a response to the pointed questions. It took me weeks to get to this point, mind you. So, while my outer reaction is to be kind, my inner reaction is to pray that these people would experience God in a different way too.

Now for the fun stuff:

Baby is due in early January 2014. (I have like 14.5 weeks left—squeeeee!) I’ll need a new car seat and diaper bag for sure.

Yes, we need a van!!! Our faithful, God-piloted 5-seater car cannot nor will not hold an extra person. Since my promise-keeping God has promised to provide, I know that the van is coming. It won’t hurt to be specific and ask you all to pray for us. We have our eye on a Honda Odyssey. (We will take whatever vehicle works, but it doesn’t hurt to dream, right?) The only reason we’ve gone this long without is because we don’t have room for a car payment. However, the imminent need of a van has skyrocketed exponentially. And we’re on a deadline now.

My girls are all excited to be big sisters. They come to appointments with me and *help* the doctor listen to the heartbeat. They can’t wait until January and are looking forward to holding their new sibling.

Gender? We know it. And you’ll find out in January. **big cheesy grin** Yes, watching you all in suspense has been great fun for us. Lots of friendly wagers are happening around me as my friends and extended family try to break me or guess what the baby is. Our lips are sealed….

This experience is another faith-builder in my life. God’s up to something huge, y’all!

Five Minute Friday: She

She has many difference faces, shapes, sizes and colours. Somedays, she’s stylish; other times, she’s ‘unique’.

She has a heart, often made of solid gold. She works to love those around her, from the depths of her very being. One should avoid double-crossing her, however, because she will rear her head and fire her venom before you can blink. As deeply as she loves, she abhors unfairness and injustice too. She works hard to rectify wrong doings.

She has eyes that she guards heavily with thin veils. While she’s discerning enough to read you in just one glance, she strives to keep her eyes clear and void of her true sentiments. Life is about you and what she can give. She doesn’t want it to be about her. Her bravado is on full display to erase the fear from your eyes…and hers.

She’s a spinner—always turning the tables, deflecting the attention from herself. Accolades and pomp are so rare that it’s uncomfortable to be the center of attention. In a little micro-inch of her heart, she’d like to learn how to accept these niceties with the grace they deserve, but she doesn’t know how. Or rather, if truth be told, she never takes the time to try and learn how. She figures it’d be much easier to smile and nod. Hug, when appropriate and maybe even shed a tear.

She is you. Me. Us. Them. The countless women who impact our lives and are the true role models of womanhood. The teachers we can never forget. The caregivers who had the gentlest of touches. The nurturers who fed us with much-needed, God-sent encouragement at the *perfect* moment. The blogger who penned that post. You know the one– whether it made you laugh, cry, contemplate the meaning of life. Or all three at the exact same time.

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Linking up with Lisa-Jo today and the five-minute Friday community.

Caught Off-Guard

Thank you everyone, for all the kind comments, well-wishes and particularly, your prayers, regarding this pregnancy. The shock is wearing off more and more as each day goes by. I thought I should share a bit more about why I was caught off-guard.

My consistent and specific prayer this year has been to eliminate debt. Annihilate it so that we can save. With three girls and the looming thoughts of post-secondary education in their future– we don’t need debt. My other prayer has been for a bigger family vehicle. We currently drive a 2000 Nissan Maxima. Purchased second-hand, it was a great purchase for our needs at the time, back in 2004. Our idea was that this car would need to do for us and one child. Three children later, we’re still in the same car…even though we do not fit well in it.

As I’m praying for these requests, I watched God arrange a few opportunities around me to earn some extra income. We were in a comfortable groove. But count on God to not let me settle in one spot. There is something much more important than my desires– my willingness to trust Him with everything!!

Back towards end of April/beginning of May, I found myself feeling quite exhausted. Between a virtual assistant position I’d just prayerfully started, homeschooling, babysitting, church volunteer work, and home life, I figured I was stretching myself too thin. Time to re-examine my schedule and trim out all the little extras I was selfishly clinging too (aka season finales of fave tv shows, too much online time, etc).

My changes didn’t do much to help with the fatigue. Then my appetite began to change. I’d want a certain food, yet only eat a ~~small~~ tiny portion if the dish. I’m talking barely a few bites. Nothing was appetizing. The idea of food made my stomach start to churn. Perhaps I needed to find ways to increase my low iron levels (normal for me). But healthy food was nowhere near my radar.

Suddenly it clicked–I had to be pregnant!

Huh?! What?!?! Me?!?! How does this work? My prayers were for financial repair and a new vehicle. With the impending arrival of a new baby, a new vehicle suddenly jumped higher on the list. And the finances?? Huh?! What was going on exactly? I was clueless because I couldn’t see the full picture.

I was so stunned by the pregnancy test results that I made myself take three tests, just to be sure! I didn’t even have to wait the instructed two minutes for the results–that second line appeared immediately, before the test line did! I sat on my shock for days, taking nearly a week to tell my husband. He was equally floored. And then I copped out and give him the *pleasure* of sharing this news with our immediate family, and especially my mother.

Both my husband and I walked around in a foggy state for days. We were in no way mad or upset. Just shocked and overwhelmed. What was God’s plan for us, exactly?

I still don’t have an answer for that. God has shown me that I just need to let Him be in charge and to trust Him. He is the only Creator that has the power and ability to give life despite circumstances. He’s not about chaos or confusion. This bombshell of a new baby for our family means that He’s up to something B-I-G! Even though He hasn’t yet clued me in as to how all this is going to work, His Word has promised that He’s in control and that “every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good” (Rom. 8:28, The Message).

So now I was okay internally, with a new baby. Externally, however, I was still scared…