Category: 31 Days

There are risks to Christian living that are rarely talked about.  We should be discussing these things openly so that when they happen, it doesn’t catch us off guard.  One such risk is looking stupid.

Shortly after I got married, a co-worker turned on me.  While never close, we had always gotten along well enough.  I couldn’t understand why the sudden hostility.  Nothing obvious had occurred—I hadn’t purposely offended her in any way.  A breach in this type of relationship meant that every single detail of my work day was under her critical scrutiny.  I could barely walk into the office without feeling visually x-rayed for something to bug me about that day.

Then one day, things erupted.  She stood over my desk, telling me what she thought of me and my work standards.  But God!  He gave me something to say.  Still seated, I looked her straight in the eyes and asked her calmly: How can we work together to overcome this?  I was looking to repair things, even though I didn’t understand how it was broken.  I wasn’t up for fighting nor for constantly attacking her just because she did it to me first.

I’ll never forget her response.  Her jaw dropped at my question, she rolled her eyes, turned away and sat down.  Clearly she was prepared for a verbal boxing match, but I was not to be her opponent that day.

I knew in that moment that I looked stupid.  Who walks away from defending themselves?  Why not say something, anything?  Because all battles are not necessarily personal.  I found out later that this co-worker’s marriage was in the midst of a break-up.  Things were crumbling in her personal life and I, as a happy newlywed, became an easy target.

There will be too many times where we will be called to walk away from certain battles.  We may not understand how or why, in that very moment.  Regardless, it’s still our duty to obey God’s leading.  He doesn’t have to explain Himself to us at any time, though He sometimes does give us a glimpse of the truth.

Yet, at the risk of looking stupid, I was able to show God’s love, grace and forgiveness.  I was willing to take that first step forward, to show surrender and a desire to move on.  My behaviour needed to reflect my Saviour, especially during a challenge.  In turn, He filled me with His peace–the one that exceeds beyond what I can understand.

Looking stupid is temporary.  The results, however, affect our eternal future.

A friend admitted to participating in a situation to ensure that they were capable of normalcy.  While the bigger picture held no appeal, there was one piece of the puzzle that was fascinating.  Having experienced trauma in the past, they wanted to ensure that they were indeed alright. They were.

That desire to be ‘capable’ stuck with me.  I couldn’t label my feeling of unease.  The need and desire for healing and a return to regular life was understandable.  Any deeply unsettling experience shakes one to the core and causes us to question much of life.  Opting not to voice my questions, I spent time thinking and praying.  Then it clicked.

Since God has created us with with all sorts of aspects, would He not ensure that we will be okay, even after trauma?  How many times do I look to qualify myself, in my own time? With my own limited abilities?  And basically–in my own power?  If God has asked me to do something, would He not equip me to do it, even if things aren’t ideal?

Christian living isn’t easy.  It means trusting in God to carry us, especially when we feel impressed to prove our worth.  Yet, nowhere does He ask us to prove ourselves.  We do not have to provide evidence of our capabilities to what He has called us for.  In fact, quite the opposite happens.

God proves Himself over and over again to us.  The evidence pile He has amassed in our history is incredible.  What He does ask for is our trust while He tends to our lives.

He is able!

My miracle girl is 5 years old today.  I call her life a miracle for a couple reasons:

1. Only God has the power to create life.  It’s beyond my scope.
2. She was extremely ill at birth–and lived.  The medical staff whisked her away to the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) immediately after she was born, in effort to stabilize her breathing. They hoped to report back in an hour.  Jhyelle ended up staying there for two weeks instead. In fact, she nearly died that first night…but God!

Each time her birthday rolls around, I’m overwhelmed and humbled by gratefulness.  I remember getting ready to see her for the first time ever, and my nurse was fighting back tears.  Her question will always stay with me:

“Are you people of faith?”

I let her know that yes, we were.  And she was instantly relieved, because she knew the road ahead was filled with unknowns.  Though I had no idea what condition I would find my baby in, I was filled with peace.  God assured me right at the moment that Jhyelle would not die.  I begun mentally preparing myself for possible developmental and physical delays.  I predicted a full calendars of specialist visits for a long time to come.

Those appointments were never booked.  Other than routine follow up procedures for NICU patients, Jhyelle has been blessed with healthy growth and development in all areas of her life.

There are times when living as a Christian will have you appearing weak.  But it doesn’t mean you are weak.

The current trend I’m noticing throughout general society is that most people are out for themselves.  I’m only responsible for myself and have to look out for myself because no one else will.  Me first and you get the leftovers…if I feel like sharing.  In the business world, it’s the C.O.A. (cover your own butt, to phrase is nicely) mentality.  As in do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, which can include hurting others and deceitful practices. No longer are we extending ourselves too far, let alone over-extending.  “That’s not in my job description” seems to be the common trend.

This is not the Christian train of thought.  We copy Christ–which means putting Him first, then others and yourself last.  Not in a harmful way, mind you.  But like Christ, we’re to always be considerate of others.  We try to respond and react with caution, not wanting to verbally assault someone just because they did it first.  While we’re not responsible for everyone, we prefer to show kindness and civility towards others.  We share first, and give to ourselves last.  When it’s possible to go above and beyond, we just do it, often in the background, not expecting nor requiring accolades.  One who lives a Christian lifestyle tries to avoid conflict, or at least avoid continuing conflict.  It’s best to leave peaceably with others.  Even through a scathing verbal attack, a Christian will choose not to respond when they cannot reply with love.

It’s these qualities that can make one look weak.  Who walks away when being taunted?  Who wouldn’t appreciate watching vengeance dished out against a foe?  Why care about other people?

Because Jesus did.  And He was the strongest man to ever life on this earth.  He opted not to fight back when the Pharisees questioned His every move and action.  During his unfair trial in the middle of the night, Jesus chose to stay silent, to leave their pointed questions unanswered.  And it wasn’t because He was guilty–He wasn’t.  In fact, had He wanted, Christ could have not only shut down every false accusation against Him, but turned the tables on every single accuser.  He could have told them all about themselves and their mommas, describing with detail what was in their hearts and minds.  But Jesus doesn’t play dirty.

With Christ as our ultimate example, we have a great role to maintain.  Yes, that means bowing out and appearing to be weaklings.  Yet, when you make that conscious choice to live for Christ, it truly means that you are taking the high road.  Christian living can appear to look like a lifestyle of the weak and useless.

It takes strength to make the better decisions.  Better doesn’t always mean easier.  God’s strength is more visible in the shadow of our perceived weakness.

Music is one of those things that is vital to life, kind of like oxygen and water.  Try watching a movie or television show without background music.  Would a horror scene be the same without the screeching strings building anticipating?  Have you ever attended a silent wedding?  Scripture is laced with music all throughout.  There are songs for all occasions.  The list of instruments is not brief at all.  Music is a gift.

The thing about blogging is that it often only exposes one dimension.  You see, not only do I blog, but I also play the piano and the violin.  I grew up taking lessons in both of those instruments for a good chunk of my life.  I’m quite active in the music ministry at church.  I figured it was fitting that on the weekend, I share some of my favourite songs.  The ones that speak truth about God and Who He Is and how He cares for us.

My first selection is “How Great Is Our God”.

We need truth!

Social media has actually helped, by giving us a somewhat ‘safe’ forum to be honest.  How many have read the post about the pain of loss, chronic illness, or _______ (insert your struggle here)? What about the viral rant describing poor customer service?  And the vast swell of emotions surrounding high profile court trials?  Those are real feelings.  It’s a great start.

But it’s just a start.  We need to be free to share honestly, in real life.  Among human community, where we’re not hiding behind a ‘delete’ button or an option to ‘block’ someone from your social media page, email or website.  It’s easy to hide behind the fortress of online personality, similar to the Wizard of Oz.  We need that courage to talk to each other.  Perhaps it’s lack of true friendships and relationships that keep us silent.

Truth encourages others.  When we are real and honest, then it shows a couple of key points:

1. You are a real person.  You, too, have rough times, hardships and *gasp* flaws!  Maybe you can understand a friend’s emotions and struggles after they have heard yours.
2. Others feel comfortable to share honestly.  Too many of us walk around with all kinds of self-labelled ugly, bottled up inside.  The pressure is building to uncomfortable levels and the top is about to blow.  We’re looking for the right outlet, but no one seems real enough to handle the depths of our ish.

Truth helps to build trust.  When we carry on with the façade that our life is picturesque and idyllic, that problems seem to be non-existent in our lives, we don’t look like someone who can be trusted to handle another person’s pain appropriately.  A hurting soul or struggling saint doesn’t want to hear the commonly often-recited platitudes.  A comforting hug, two listening ears and even praying together are a soothing balm.

Everybody doesn’t qualify to be a friend.  **shrugs**  It’s true.  There are some who are too independent to ‘need’ another person to rely on.  Some are buried so deeply in their own pain that they have forgotten what truth looks like.  Some have absolutely no interest in human community for whatever reason.  Love these folk.  Be kind to them.  Pray for them always.

This is one of the hard lessons I’m continuing to learn.  Disappointment arises when I try too hard with the wrong people and not hard enough with the right ones.  God always shows us what’s best.

I’m taking a leap this month and challenging myself to blogging daily.  I’ll be participating in the 31 Day challenge.  My topic is:

 I’ve been enjoying the liberties and refreshment that come being true and blogging truthfully.  While it’s never easy, it is the better way to live and to write.  The nuggets I’ll be sharing daily may not be overly profound or earth-shattering…for you.  For myself, God has been working to dispel myths and convict me of truths in my life that have impacted me.

Thanks for joining me on my journey.  I look forward to what October has in store.