Need Friends? Try Being True {day 2}

We need truth!

Social media has actually helped, by giving us a somewhat ‘safe’ forum to be honest.  How many have read the post about the pain of loss, chronic illness, or _______ (insert your struggle here)? What about the viral rant describing poor customer service?  And the vast swell of emotions surrounding high profile court trials?  Those are real feelings.  It’s a great start.

But it’s just a start.  We need to be free to share honestly, in real life.  Among human community, where we’re not hiding behind a ‘delete’ button or an option to ‘block’ someone from your social media page, email or website.  It’s easy to hide behind the fortress of online personality, similar to the Wizard of Oz.  We need that courage to talk to each other.  Perhaps it’s lack of true friendships and relationships that keep us silent.

Truth encourages others.  When we are real and honest, then it shows a couple of key points:

  1. You are a real person.  You, too, have rough times, hardships and *gasp* flaws!  Maybe you can understand a friend’s emotions and struggles after they have heard yours.
  2. Others feel comfortable to share honestly.  Too many of us walk around with all kinds of self-labelled ugly, bottled up inside.  The pressure is building to uncomfortable levels and the top is about to blow.  We’re looking for the right outlet, but no one seems real enough to handle the depths of our ish.

Truth helps to build trust.  When we carry on with the façade that our life is picturesque and idyllic, that problems seem to be non-existent in our lives, we don’t look like someone who can be trusted to handle another person’s pain appropriately.  A hurting soul or struggling saint doesn’t want to hear the commonly often-recited platitudes.  A comforting hug, two listening ears and even praying together are a soothing balm.

Everybody doesn’t qualify to be a friend.  **shrugs**  It’s true.  There are some who are too independent to ‘need’ another person to rely on.  Some are buried so deeply in their own pain that they have forgotten what truth looks like.  Some have absolutely no interest in human community for whatever reason.  Love these folk.  Be kind to them.  Pray for them always.

This is one of the hard lessons I’m continuing to learn.  Disappointment arises when I try too hard with the wrong people and not hard enough with the right ones.  God always shows us what’s best.

31 Button 2013

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  • http://www.raisingtherosses.com/ Zohary Ross

    So “true” Sabrina! Friendship really requires truth and is such a benefit to both parties when there is absolute honesty and transparency, freedom to be real. Not everyone can qualify to be a friend, but yes, pray for them. I love this. Great post and series friend!

    • https://sabrinajr.com/ Sabrina

      Thanks, Zohary! I’m learning so much as I write this series. I had kind of mapped things out for myself, but God is showing me what I need to learn and what I should be sharing.

  • Paula-Eunice

    love it! very true not everyone does qualify as a friend… and as sad as it may be, I think it also protects us from getting into any more hurt relationships. Many are too independent that they don’t even realize it.. they enjoy the perks of friendships but don’t want to put the extra works into them in turn being a friend. And then there are some too dependant on others. That’s the hardest part to be able to release them of our expectations and like you said, “pray, love and be kind to them anyways – that’s God’s true spirit :)