Tuesday at Ten {Truth}

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Sixth place.

That was my ranking on his list. My classmate was naming the girls that he’d date next, if things didn’t work out with his current girlfriend.

Here’s the catch: there were only six girls in my class. I was at the bottom of his list, in last place.

Thankfully, this was only Grade 6. However, I learned a very valuable truth at recess that day:

He did not value me.

I would always be his last resort option. Even at the unknowing and innocent age of 11 years, I knew that this was not a compliment.

I realized then that I needed to start making wise choices for myself and the romantic life I hoped to have. First, being honest with myself, I was in no rush to date. What’s the point dating if I’d have to rely on my parents for a ride? And how was I to get money to do something? ‘Mom, Dad, can I please have $$ to go out with my boyfriend?’ Umm, nope. And where would we go? When would we go? I wasn’t ready.

These days, young people are feeling pressured to be with someone. They know to dress in a manner that’s attractive. As a Mom myself now, I’ve noticed that too many of the clothing items marketed to young ladies are child sizes of an adult woman’s. No, my 3-year-old does not need a smaller mini-skirt and tiny high heels. Flirting happens in hopes that they’d be noticed and gain extra special attention. Magazines contain quizzes to help girls see if he’s the one or if they’re compatible. If you need a quiz to figure this out, he probably ain’t the one.

We need to speak truth early on. Girls need to understand value before they get involved in a relationship. It would help if they recognized their own value before connecting with someone else. Otherwise, they’ll be too easily swayed.

You are valuable.

Everybody is valuable. You are valuable because God handcrafted you in a unique way. The person you choose to date or crush on is also valuable. As God’s masterpiece, you should be treated with great care and respect. Likewise, we should treat others respectfully as well. Any interaction with you may be their only exposure to Christ.

Never settle for being the last resort option. You were not created to be anyone’s remnant. If you’re feeling passed by and picked over, left behind while the ‘better’ girls were chosen, that is what happened—in one boy’s eyes. If he cannot see your value, you will never be worthy to him. No amount of flirting, cleavage or calculated risks will get you there.

You are valuable. That is the truth.

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I’m linking up with Karen, who hosts Tuesday at Ten.

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  • Kathy Schwanke

    Good and wise words for mamas. You will teach your little girl well. :)

  • http://iwillbloom.wordpress.com Helen

    Oh, I love your post (I found you through the Tuesdays at Ten link-up of Karen Beth’s). I’m Mama to a 4 year old daughter and am constantly, constantly, shocked at the pressure on little girls, even girls of 4. It’s frightening. As you write, “As God’s masterpiece, you should be treated with great care and respect” – this should include self-care and self-respect, something I try very very hard to instil in my daughter, because her whole lifetime of interactions will depend on how she views herself, ultimately. [Absolutely loved your post, which is perfectly written. Am pinning to be able to come back and view again and again. Thank you].

  • http://marriedayouthpastor.com Liz von Ehrenkrook

    Yesyesyes! Love this. I work with teens and often see how girls are quick to devalue themselves. It’s heartbreaking.

  • Andrea H.

    Awesome post! A valuable message for everyone.
    Thank you.
    Andrea